Your Hidden Symmetry Read online

  Let me explain what that means. Chinese medicine teaches that our consciousness does not reside in our brains; instead, it lives in our hearts. So as a Nine with such an open heart, you also have a very open consciousness, which is lovely—but it also means that you can be affected by the thoughts and feelings of other people without being aware of it.

  One of the reasons you may be a contact crier is that it’s so easy for you to make an energetic connection with the consciousness of another person. They don’t even have to be in the same room. For example, you may sense when a friend is about to contact you because they just come to mind—and then the text arrives or the phone rings.

  But this empathic nature can cause problems as you’re bombarded by the thoughts and emotions of other people, even if they’re not in the same space. Christine, a Nine, had an exhibit of her artwork in a major gallery, and the local newspaper published an article about her. She didn’t sleep well for the next few days as she was psychically impacted by the attention of hundreds of people reading the article, their thoughts directed to her, which jangled her nerves.

  It can be empowering for you to become more aware of your energetic boundaries and realize that not every thought or feeling that passes through your awareness is actually yours! Once you begin to learn to identify what’s yours and what isn’t, you can develop your skills as an empath to gain a very high level of awareness, to the point that you could help others as an intuitive counselor or healer.

  The Heart Protector

  In Chinese medicine, there’s an organ in the body called the Heart Protector, whose function is to act almost like a filter around the heart, to screen out what will be harmful and allow in what will be beneficial. Another term for it is the Gate of Intimacy. The gate swings wide open for someone you love and trust, but it should only open slightly for someone you don’t know yet, gradually letting them farther in as you get to know them better.

  With Nines, however, it’s almost as if your heart is so huge that the filter of the Heart Protector gets stretched too thin and develops holes, or the gate can’t fully close. The result in everyday experience can be that you may allow intimacy too soon. For instance, one woman moved in with a man after just two dates and had her heart broken because she trusted too quickly. In most cases if this happens, the Nine will feel terribly hurt for a while but recover and be able to return to their loving nature. But if their heart is shattered, one possible result is that they’ll lose their joy and come across as flat or dispirited from that point forward.

  Alternatively, the Nine may from then on only maintain the most superficial relationships, never again really letting anyone into their heart. Some performers are like this, only feeling happy and safe when they’re up on a stage with an audience adoring them, but never having truly close relationships in their personal life. And sometimes we see those whose gate has frozen wide open. They continually get involved with people they should never have let into their hearts and suffer time and time again as a result.

  Yet another possible response to hurt is that the Gate of Intimacy will instead slam shut and lock. When this happens, the heart closes and hardens to others. Vera, age 70, was in this state when she came to me for a reading. She hobbled into the office, her body racked with arthritis, and painfully sat down in the chair across from me. Her mouth was creased and turned down, and frankly, she looked mean. So I was surprised when I read Vera’s birth date, to discover that not only was she a Nine but that her entire life theme was about the heart.

  As I started explaining what this meant, that her true spirit was about the joy of connecting heart to heart, Vera’s face twisted into disgust. With each word out of my mouth, she scowled more and rolled her eyes as if I were a complete moron. I wasn’t falsely trying to cheer her up since I was also discussing the challenges of having such an open heart, but she was treating me like I was spewing nonsense.

  I finally had to stop the reading and tell her that I couldn’t continue if she wasn’t going to be able to listen with an open mind, at least at first. I offered to not charge her for the session and just stop so that I didn’t waste any more of her time. When she said that she wanted to continue, I went ahead, thinking, Well, this is a lost cause.

  After a few more minutes Vera suddenly spoke up, telling me the story of how two friends had horribly betrayed her 40 years earlier, using the phrase “shattered my heart.” She said she hadn’t been the same since. She’d decided that she’d never again allow anyone to hurt her in that way, and from that day forward had no close friendships or romance.

  But as we talked over the course of the next hour, I watched her bloom like a rose. She said that I was right, that she desperately wanted love in her life and had been a warm and outgoing person before her traumatic experience. She’d felt cut off from life for so many years and didn’t know how to find her way back. Now Vera felt that my words were reawakening something in her. She had a neighbor who seemed really nice—maybe she should invite the woman over for tea. And she’d heard about a church where the services were uplifting—she thought she’d give it a try. She’d always wanted a dog. If she had one, she could take it for walks and meet other people that way, too. In that short space of time, Vera’s heart began to soften and new possibilities for love poured in. I was in awe of how quickly the light can return.

  Careers

  To determine the types of careers that align with your inner design, we need to consider the influence of both your first and third numbers, so be sure to read the description of your calling in Chapter 5 as well.

  Because you’re so good at getting people excited about things, you can find success in sales, marketing, public relations, performing, or teaching, keeping your audience laughing as they learn. Your talent in communications can land you a job in the media, and your natural creativity also inclines you to work in the arts. Careers in travel can be a great fit because of all the people you get to meet and the exciting places you can visit. Whatever field you choose, it will have to be fun and full of variety to keep you engaged.

  As you’ve seen, your first number reveals many layers of meaning about your temperament, belief patterns, strengths, challenges, and personal potential. But there’s so much more to come that can help you move through life in alignment with your true spirit. In the next chapter, we’ll look at aspects of your inner nature, whose origins can be traced back to your childhood self.

  CHAPTER 4

  YOUR

  EMOTIONAL SELF

  Your second number reveals your inner nature, your emotional self. It relates to what Western psychologists might call your inner child, that part of you that emerges in response to your feelings and your emotional reactions to life. This idea stems from the fact that children respond purely out of their emotions; that’s where they live until they mature. This is the part of your personality that only those who know you well really see, although it can shine through the cracks to others, giving them a sense about you that they can’t quite put a finger on.

  So while this number does carry wonderful qualities, what’s most helpful to understand is that it shows the feelings and behavior you revert to under stress or when you’re upset. And of course because you don’t become a better version of yourself when you’re stressed, this pattern is often expressed in more negative ways that can cause further problems. It can be valuable to learn to recognize when your stressed self is surfacing and discover how to not get so lost in those feelings. Just gaining the awareness of your particular pattern of reaction can revolutionize your life because it gives you the power to catch yourself before you get swept away. You can understand that your stressed self is trying to take over!

  The terms for each number to follow describe the stressed version of who you are and the strength within that quality that can help you return to a balanced state. I want to remind you that we’re looking only at your second number here; for instance, if your numbers are 2.9.7, you would read the section about Nine.

/>   Second Number: One

  Fear/Courage

  If your second number is a One, the good news is that you have a deep inner source of strength and wisdom that you can always summon. Read the section in Chapter 3 about One as a first number to get a sense of the positive qualities of Ones and know that you carry that essence within you. But since this is your second number, it will express itself differently from the first number because you mainly go there under stress; that is, you’re more likely to exhibit the negative qualities rather than positive ones.

  Having a One here means you may become stubborn when things get tough, digging in your heels and refusing to compromise or turning into a steamroller and trying to exert your will on everyone else. Or it could be that you withdraw when you’re upset, needing time alone and not wanting to talk.

  You feel things more deeply than people realize, and when you’re stressed, your feelings can be easily hurt. If this does happen, that hurt may go quite deep, last for a long time, and not be easily resolved—because in this situation, you’ll tend to clam up and not be able to talk things out.

  It’s so important for you to acknowledge that you may too easily get caught up in your emotions. However, the solution isn’t in trying to suppress or deny your feelings, but in knowing that you’re totally in charge of how seriously you take them. If you can wisely allow your emotions but not get lost in them, you’ll find that they soon pass, and you’re still in balance. You’ll no longer have to find your way back to shore after being swept out to sea.

  Another way stress can impact you is by bringing up feelings of fear, and this may be what you base your decisions on rather than reasoning things through. It could be that the fear makes you freeze, feeling as though you can’t move forward because every option leaves you paralyzed with dread about what could happen.

  But when you look deep inside the One nature, you discover your source of power: your tremendous courage. It can be hard to imagine how to reach your courage when you’re lost in fear, but you do have a stepping-stone: wisdom. In other words, even within your fear, you have a special ability to know the truth. It’s by accessing your wisdom about the situation that you find your courage and are able to move through the fear. As you summon your wise self, you’re empowered to see things for what they are, not what you’re afraid they might be.

  You don’t take everything a frightened child tells you seriously, and your wise self has that attitude here. As with a child, give yourself reassurance and take some time to talk yourself through the situation. You’ll start to discover that you let your fears get bigger than they needed to be. Remember how you’ve always been able to deal with difficulties in the past, even if you weren’t sure at the time, and that what you learned from those experiences has soaked in to make you even stronger today. Now you have the courage to proceed!

  Second Number: Two

  Worry/Calm

  If your second number is a Two, the good news is that your inner self is grounded, with a sense of safety that you can tap into as you need. Read the section in Chapter 3 about Two as a first number to get a sense of the positive qualities of Twos and know that you carry that essence within you. But since this is your second number, it will express itself differently from the first number because you mainly go there under stress; that is, you’re more likely to exhibit the negative qualities rather than positive ones.

  Under stress, it’s easy for you to lose confidence, and you can become so caught up in worrying that you’re no longer able to think very clearly. It’s not uncommon to feel as though you have to turn to others for help. Even if you’re normally the kind of person who can deal with anything, you may suddenly drop into feeling disempowered and unsure.

  Sometimes it’s that you give up your power in pressured situations, sacrificing your needs for someone else’s or even behaving codependently, losing yourself in the other person. At other times, there’s the possibility of switching into victim mode, feeling sorry for yourself, or even falling into resentment because it seems like no one’s there for you. This attitude prevents you from taking charge of the situation, and you can get locked into a “poor me” frame of mind that could take you down a road of negative thinking.

  One note: It’s more challenging for a man to have a Two as a second number than it is for a woman. The qualities of this number represent the most yin and “feminine” characteristics. This does not mean that a man with the Two inner nature isn’t masculine, though! What it does mean is that when he’s upset, the loss of confidence or power he feels is more distressing for him than for a woman because it feels emasculating. In our culture, of course, men are supposed to be confident and powerful, and here he’s feeling the opposite of that.

  When a man has an inner Two, his behavior under stress doesn’t always appear to be a loss of confidence or a victim mentality. Instead, what he exhibits may seem like anger, which is one of the few emotions that’s deemed acceptable for men in our society. When a man with an inner Two is stressed and falls into that powerless place, he can blast others because that’s the only emotional outlet he has, and also because he’s mad at himself for feeling weak. It can be so helpful for people to understand why this happens so that they can avoid reacting in kind.

  Whether you’re a man or woman, recognizing when one of these patterns shows up can help you immediately click out of the behavior. To save yourself from getting lost in powerlessness, you can summon the part of your inner nature that’s your greatest strength: the Divine Feminine, which the Chinese call Quan Yin, the Goddess of Compassion. What it means for you is that in any moment of stress, it will help to remember that there’s always a soft yet grounded place inside yourself to come home to. You have a sense of safety and inner calm that you can rest in, knowing that life loves you and will take care of you if you just let it.

  Second Number: Three

  Anger/Action

  If your second number is a Three, the good news is that your inner self has a vitality, a dynamic energy that’s always available to give you a power surge. Read the section in Chapter 3 about Three as a first number to get a sense of the positive qualities of Threes and know that you carry that essence within you. But since this is your second number, it will express itself differently from the first number because you mainly go there under stress; that is, you’re more likely to exhibit the negative qualities rather than positive ones.

  In nature, the image for a Three is thunder, and that explosive quality can show up when you’re stressed as frustration or anger! It will be essential for you to choose positive ways to blow off steam when you’re upset so that you don’t end up yelling at people you care about, stomping out of a staff meeting, or getting caught up in road rage on the highway. Go for a run, or in the theme of thunder, make noise—sing, bang pots and pans in the kitchen, or shout into a pillow!

  This thunder can also make you react too quickly and angrily to something someone says. Without taking time to compose your reply, you can end up causing an argument or hurting their feelings. There’s a sense of urgency and the potential to make impulsive decisions that you’ll later regret because you didn’t think things through. The enthusiasm of the Three nature can cause impatience, a desire to just run with an idea and not deal with the boring details!

  This energy also creates an inner tension that can be expressed as compulsive behavior. During difficult times, you may work compulsively or exercise for hours to try to work off the stress. This could even contribute to self-injuring behavior such as cutting or addiction, whether to computer games, drugs and alcohol, or something more minor. This tendency also creates the potential for moodiness, even depression, with that negativity turned in toward yourself.

  Lastly, a Three’s competitive nature can take over, and they may behave without integrity just so they can win, or they could try to dominate the situation and push people around. Under stress, they may resist owning up to a mistake, refusing to apologize for an obvious goof or blaming someo
ne else.

  The power of your hidden nature is Warrior energy, your dynamic drive and ability to easily take action. You can learn to notice the moment that feelings of frustration or anger start to rise in your system and choose to direct them to constructive instead of destructive actions. When you’re going through a stressed period, go into Warrior mode and stay physically active to use up some of that powerful drive. Direct your energy to creating a plan of attack for the situation and then take action based on that plan. Focus your attention on doing something to create positive change—your benevolent Warrior fighting to make things better in the world.

  Second Number: Four

  Waver/Adapt

  If your second number is a Four, the good news is that you have an inner sense of adaptability, a flexible nature that allows you to easily adjust to changing circumstances. Read the section in Chapter 3 about Four as a first number to get a sense of the positive qualities of Fours and know that you carry that essence within you. But since this is your second number, it will express itself differently from the first number because you mainly go there under stress; that is, you’re more likely to exhibit the negative qualities rather than positive ones.

  Under stress, you may feel frustrated, indecisive, or unsure. It will seem as though there are so many options all of a sudden, and the way to go simply isn’t clear. You may make a decision, then waver and back off from it to try another direction. You’ll be likely to overthink things, and that can leave you feeling flustered and full of self-doubt. On top of that, you can beat yourself up for not being able to move forward, and that negative self-judgment is toxic to your process.