Your Hidden Symmetry Read online

  Another way Three energy can be understood is as the Elder. This is anyone who’s in a superior position, such as an older family member, a boss, a teacher, or a mentor, and who has power over you in some way. When Three is your third number, it might signify that someone who falls into the category of Elder has abused that power over you. It may be that they tried to dominate you, shamed you, or in some way expressed their authority in an unkind way. This might be an experience with one person that affects you for the rest of your life or a series of incidents with different people over time, where you feel like someone tries to take away your power. An example of this is a father who wants to “make a man” out of his son and so is very hard on him to toughen him up. But this often manifests itself as abuse, plain and simple.

  If this does happen, the result can be a person who has issues with authority and who goes around with a chip on their shoulder. It may mean that they try to dominate in their own relationships, or it can be that they carry a great fear of ever being shamed or blamed. This can even affect relationships in small ways, the most frequent one being that they may rarely be able to say, “I’m sorry,” even if they were at fault; or they’ll blame everyone else rather than own up to being responsible for a problem, which feels too much like admitting weakness.

  If this is true for you, just being aware of the origin of this pattern can help ease it, but there’s also a need for forgiveness. One starting point is to recognize that the unkind elder was emotionally damaged. No one who was healthy in their heart of hearts would have ever behaved that way. The process of allowing that truth can be the beginning of letting go of pain and anger, which will allow you to move forward in a whole new way. And of course the essential part of this process is being able to forgive yourself for any misguided thoughts that you were somehow responsible for or deserving of mistreatment.

  Your Calling

  In terms of career, you’ll enjoy any work that lets you be physically active, such as athlete, personal trainer, or massage therapist. You like structure and authority, so you may be attracted to careers in law enforcement or the military. Politics could appeal because you’re driven to effect change in the system.

  You also love to be active mentally, so a career as an analyst, engineer, or inventor is an option; or you might be an attorney because you’re so talented at logical argument and debate. People with a Three here are often found in the business world—especially as entrepreneurs, because of their bright ideas and competitive drive. Other careers that align well are architect, landscape designer, gardener, carpenter, or woodworker.

  One special talent you have is getting people up off their rear ends, and combined with your ability to strategize, this means you can be a fantastic personal coach. You can help people create a vision for their future and a plan to get there, and then keep them moving forward toward their goals. You won’t coddle them—in fact, you may push them a bit hard—but they’ll thank you for it in the end!

  What the Chinese call your destiny, we might understand as your true calling, the ultimate strength you’re evolving toward. The powerful drive of your Warrior energy shows you the way to your purpose, which is to be a catalyst, an agent of change for the world. The true calling for the Three nature is to create positive change, to see what’s wrong and fix it, and to break up the old ways of being to make way for the new.

  In our culture, we usually think of anger as a bad emotion because we’re surrounded by its negative and destructive expression. But when you look at the root cause of anger, in its heart, it’s really just a desire to change something that’s judged to be wrong. Healthy anger is the same inner force as your drive to grow and develop; it’s actually your booster rocket to make you take action, to be a benevolent force in the world.

  Third Number: Four

  Gentle Influence

  On first impression, you come across as easygoing and gracious, someone who makes space for others to be themselves. But people may also feel a bit unsure about where they stand with you. To them, you may seem evasive, as if you might change at any moment and the ground isn’t even firm under their own feet when they’re with you.

  In terms of how you do things, your Four nature is flexible. While you’ll always have a plan, you’ll also want a plan B, so you’re able to adapt to changing circumstances. There may be a pattern of wavering or uncertainty overall, which can lead to procrastination, changing your mind, or overconcern with timing.

  Your Challenge

  This is the issue that’s woven through your life, appearing repeatedly in both subtle and obvious ways. One image for the Four nature is bamboo. The bamboo bends with the wind; it’s very flexible and adaptable to changing conditions, which is a great benefit. But that can mean you struggle to choose just one direction and stay with it, feeling indecisive, hesitating, or getting distracted in ways that don’t serve you well.

  This can also be seen in the tendency to overthink everything. It’s hard to act on a decision because as soon as you’ve decided, you start to doubt that choice and may back off, thinking of new things to consider. You can get so wound up in your head that you feel flustered and unable to trust your decisions, or you could be too easily influenced by the opinions of those around you.

  You can be too hard on yourself, beating yourself up for every little mistake, or for not being able to move forward as easily as everyone else seems to. You carry a natural drive, an inner tension that if not released through action can cause frustration and even anger. Over time, this can be internalized to eventually transform into depression, which is anger turned inward.

  To counteract this tendency, get out of your head by staying active physically—go for a hike, play sports, do anything to release that inner tension. The joking advice, “Don’t believe everything you think!” definitely applies here.

  Because your bamboo nature bends to all of your thoughts and to others’, too, there’s also the risk of gullibility—too easily believing what someone tells you. In my experience, however, this soon flips to the opposite attitude, which is skepticism. You might feel suspicious of someone’s motives and be too quick to assume that they have an agenda or are trying to trick or cheat you. To you, it may just seem as though you’re being realistic, but you can lose opportunities when you’re too doubting. Adding to this problem is a tendency to be judgmental or to jump to conclusions before giving others a chance. Tapping into your common sense will help, as will bouncing your thoughts off grounded friends.

  The influence of Four can make you think the grass is greener somewhere else, so you can move, choose new jobs or relationships, or just change your mind too often. But life will also naturally bring you changes in career and lifestyle, and you may have to come to terms with that—it might help to work on releasing the belief that you should stick with one job and collect the gold watch 50 years later, for instance.

  Your issues around timing can create trouble with procrastination or too great a concern about doing things at exactly the right time. You might get started but then keep changing things or even drop a project because you’re feeling uncertain about the outcome.

  Your Calling

  To you, it’s essential to keep growing throughout life, to continue to learn and improve yourself; therefore, you’ll be a lifelong student. One of the most valuable things you can do is find mentors—people who are farther down the path than you are—to guide you, teach you the ropes, and possibly open some doors for you.

  The theme of changeability is a major influence on your career, and you may have many different jobs or work in various places over the years. Because of your inherently flexible and gracious nature, you would be an excellent manager of a staff of any size. Your talent for guidance means that you could find success as a coach or consultant. You never push; instead, you’re a gentle hand on someone’s back, just aiming them in the direction they need to go but always able to correct the course, depending on how things unfold.

  You can do well in f
ields that have a bureaucratic structure, such as government or corporate work, because you’re adaptable enough to fit in but not feel trapped; you appreciate and can work with the system. And your idealism can translate into work in philanthropy or with organizations that are fighting to make the world a better place.

  Other careers might be in the art world due to your creative talents; out in nature, such as gardener, landscape architect, or ecologist; or working with wood, such as carpenter. And because one theme of the Four nature is wind, you might find happiness as a pilot or flight attendant.

  What the Chinese call your destiny, we might understand as your true calling, the ultimate purpose you’re evolving toward. Your power is like that of a gentle breeze, influencing but never forcing, to help others achieve the perfect balance of adaptability with forward movement so they can soar and glide through life.

  The patterns in Four energy are associated with how plants grow. Most people think plants just shoot up and up and up in a vertical line, but time-lapse photography reveals that they bend and wobble in that upward movement, adjusting to changing circumstances and unfolding their inner plan in more of a spiral. This is your truth: to be a benevolent influence for growth and change, using your skills for gentle yet never-ending movement to guide us all in the direction we need to go.

  Third Number: Five

  Centering Force

  Here’s an interesting thing about Five: If your third number is Five, the other two numbers in your sequence are identical. If you look at the chart at the end of Chapter 2, you’ll notice that whenever the third number is a Five, the first two numbers are the same. Take a look—you’ll see: 1.1.5, 2.2.5, 3.3.5, 4.4.5, and so on.

  For the most part, the influence of the Five here is like tofu, soaking up all the other flavors in a dish. When a Five is your third number, therefore, it takes on the characteristics of the other two numbers. This is much like when Five is the second number, where it transforms almost completely into the other numbers.

  But here, when it’s the third number, there can still be a minor influence from the Five nature, usually appearing as involvement in helping others or ending up at the center of things personally and professionally. It will make you a more powerful force in whatever you do, and people can perceive you as strong but demanding.

  Overall, when your third number is Five, we’d put more weight on the meaning of the other two numbers because the Five does take on their essence. So if your numbers are 1.1.5, your third number actually is considered to be more like a One, as if you’re a 1.1.1, and in order to learn what your challenge and calling are, you’ll read the section about Ones earlier in the chapter. If you’re a 2.2.5, that Five becomes more like a Two, as if you’re a 2.2.2, and you’ll read the section about Twos; and so forth.

  There’s one exception: If you’re a 5.5.5, brace yourself! You’ve taken that “force of nature” energy of the Five and tripled it. When it comes to first impressions, what someone initially perceives about you is also who you are overall: an incredibly kind, generous person who’s intent on helping, but who also demands people’s attention.

  In terms of how you do things, you’ll tend to want to be in charge, because it’s been your experience that you’re just better at figuring things out than most of the population is. Yet do be aware that others can perceive this behavior as controlling or demanding.

  If you’re a 5.5.5, your life challenge might come from an extreme childhood that requires you to do a lot of personal healing work over the years. It can also center around the frustration of not having enough people in your life who really “get” you and with whom you can have the kind of solid relationships you so yearn for. And you may find that time and time again, you show up to provide powerful help but get relatively little recognition or appreciation in return.

  A life lesson can, in fact, revolve around healthy boundaries. You may do too much for others and feel guilty whenever you take time for yourself. But this challenge can also show up for some Fives as their invading others’ boundaries by being demanding, sticking their noses in other people’s business, or trying to “help” by taking charge when it’s not appropriate.

  Such strong Five energy can also give you extreme emotions, which you may have to learn how to manage, although some Fives are in such fear of their power that they stay emotionally shut down as a result.

  When you’re a triple Five, there will usually be drama from family and/or friends to contend with, and you’ll probably be the one required to step up to help. You tend to be the center of gravity for everyone in your life, so this shouldn’t be a surprise! You may often feel as if people don’t really see how much you did for them, though, and you should take care to not get stuck in dis-appointment or resentment.

  As for your calling, you’re so adept and resourceful that you’re capable of doing anything you want. You’ll be intensely drawn to helping others no matter what career you land in, and anyone who has a triple Five in their life has a powerfully nurturing supporter.

  Third Number: Six

  Sacred Connection

  The first impression you make will be as someone with excellent manners, but because the Six carries a sense of power and authority, people may also get a feeling that you’re a bit aloof or even arrogant, and you may need to compensate for that by being extra warm and approachable.

  In terms of how you do things, you like to feel in control. It’s best for you to know what to anticipate in any situation, and the earlier you get the details, the more comfortable you’ll be. Some people with this number here may drive others crazy with discussions like whether the dinner reservations should be at 6:30 or 6:45 for your first night at the hotel … on a trip that’s six months down the road.

  Your Challenge

  This is the issue that’s woven through your life, appearing repeatedly in both subtle and obvious ways. If Six is your third number, it could revolve around issues of perfectionism and self-worth. One way to understand it is as having “enough” issues: You have a concern about being good enough and doing things well enough, which can create a constant undercurrent of anxiety. You may procrastinate because you’re so afraid you won’t do it right; or you may be highly self-critical, cringing at every perceived mistake no matter how inconsequential. God forbid anyone offers you constructive criticism.

  For some, the anxiety about “enough” can extend beyond issues of self-worth to a worry about money, and as a result they pinch every penny no matter how full their bank account may be. Alternatively, some put a high value on affluence and impressing people, even if the show they put on isn’t one they can really afford. This challenge around “enough” can also be expressed in relationships. For example, perhaps they grew up without receiving enough affection and so don’t know how to give it; their partner may complain that they’re not affectionate or don’t understand the importance of gifts.

  A Six in this position creates a high level of sensitivity to subtle energy, which can make you physically uncomfortable in large crowds or noisy environments, or you may need to have things just so—to control them in an attempt to manage the overwhelm that can occur for someone with such a sensitive side. This can create difficulty in relationships, with your partner saying that you’re nitpicking or trying to boss them around. It helps to be aware of how others might experience your behavior in ways you didn’t intend.

  Another reason you may insist on things being done your way is the influence of the essence of the Six, which is the energy of Father. He holds the power in the family and is to be obeyed! You may carry a natural air of authority and an expectation that what you say goes, and that can rub some people the wrong way. It can also incline you to be inflexible at times, unwilling or unable to see others’ viewpoints or consider their needs.

  At the same time, your challenge may be about being able to stand in your power. There’s often a longing to feel worthy of respect, yet often any praise you receive bounces off while criticism soaks in deep
ly. This may have roots far back to a difficult relationship with your father in childhood, when you felt as though you weren’t good enough for him. As an adult, it can cause you to seek approval from powerful people.

  The essence of the Six energy is that of heaven or the Divine, a sense of the sacred. You’ll feel drawn to do work that feels sacred to you, that is meaningful and will make a difference in the world. You may disdain material wealth or even feel disgust for people who lead shallow, superficial lives. To you, authenticity is of utmost importance, and it’s key to have relationships where you can be your true self.

  You could have a pattern of holding on to grief, of not being able to let go and move on after a loss. Instead, you might keep looking back at what you’ve lost and so relive the pain over and over, reluctant to turn forward for fear that there will be nothing there. It may be difficult to believe the reality that out of your losses there can come a new resolve and that you can face the future not diminished but empowered.

  Your Calling

  In your career, you may end up in a position of power, such as CEO, politician, or some other type of leader. But no matter what you do, when you show up to work, you take charge. You’re a natural visionary, able to see the kind of life we could all achieve if we weren’t so caught up in all our little dramas. Your idealism directs you into work that feels sacred, so you might have a career as a clergy member or spiritual teacher, able to inspire people to connect with their divine nature.

  But along with seeing the big picture, you’re exquisitely aware of the tiny details, so careers that require precision are also good, such as surgeon, acupuncturist, accountant, or engineer. The Six sensitivity can direct you toward work that requires an awareness of subtleties, from energy work to interior, graphic, or fashion design.